so it's official, i will have no life for the next few weeks. i just ordered the gameand the guide from gamestop.com and i'm estimating that it will arrive by the end of this week or early next week. i've been waiting for this for so many years! OMG just looking at the screenshots from IGN.com is getting me sooo excited. i'm like jumping up and down @ work.

on the other hand. i'm looking through the screenshots for final fantasy 12, and i'm not impressed. sure, they're great graphics, but everyone's so.... BLOND. and all the characters look so unoriginal. the settings look too intricate that i feel it takes away from teh characters. they better have a good story to make up for this or imma be so disappointed. what happen to the good ol' days when people had pink and blue and green hair? this is boring.

YESSSSS!!!! my cat came back! this girl called me about seeing my cat, but she couldn't catch him. cory was home at that time cuz he's kinda sick, so he went to where she saw him and he caught cat back!

other people have called about cat, but it was actually another cat that look kinda like hiim. but this was the real deal. she didn't want the reward either! thanks nice girl!

matchbook romance is one of my favorite bands ever! their first album is super solid, but i'm still getting used to their second album. anyway, they played house of blues last nite with the take action tour. (it's all about preventing teenage suicide.) we got there before silverstein came on. they didn't come on til like 11, i'm so glad that we didn't get their when doors opened, or i woulda been dying. i was already too tired to be near the front jumping up and down. matchbook's set was alternating old and new songs. i knew all the words to all the old songs, and most of the words to the new songs. the crowd seems to be way more in-tuned to their old songs too. their new songs are good, but its just so different of a song that it's hard for a die-hard fan of their old style to get into right away. the thing that was upsetting was that they didn't play "tigerlily" which is like my favorite song by them! i guess they wanted to keep the set more energetic and decided to not play this slow acoustic ballad. oh well. I LOVE MATCHBOOK ROMANCE!

between sets, i people watch. at one point, i find myself thinking "hey, that girl's top is kinda cute." then she turns around and she's a HE. that's when i've decided that i've fuckin had ENOUGH of these emo-boys that dress all flaming-goth-wannabe-iweartightjeansbutihavenoass. i love emo music, but dressing like shit doesn't make the emo-pain any more endearing. these boys are usually around late-juniorhigh to early-highschool age. they have long-ish greasy hair that they use to cover up their pimply face (thus causing more acne.) top is always black with some band name on them. usually it's a tshirt (thank god) but but i saw some sleeveless shirt yesterday. the standard-gazillion black bracelets, sometimes twisted into patterns. black nailpolish on like ONE nail. excessive oral piercings (because it adds to their pain, right). jeans/pants are so unnecessarily tight. ARGH. i guess if you're REALLY hot, you can pull this look off without the hair. but these boys with the curse of oncoming puberty just look ridiculous especially the HAIR! it's just sooo disgusting! yuck!

i'd like to think i'm not racist or prejudiced or anything. but here's another set of people i have something against. fat people. yes, sooo superficial and shallow. actually not really. when i say fat, i mean SUPER OBESE. i think "thick" is beautiful, "chubby" can be cute, and "kinda chunky" is ok too. so when i say fat, it's not just regular ol' "fat", i mean one of those people that a lot of people will automatically think "geez they're big" upon the first sight of them. one of those that got so fat that they need a cane to walk because their weight is causing such a problem. yeah, one of those. cuz no one is every BORN morbidly obese. one might be born with the genes that will make it easy to gain weight. but i'd imagine, if i was born with a gene like that, i'd at least start watching my diet and exercise habits once i got to the first stages of "obese". and if they watch what they eat, there should be no reason that they would get past the first stage of obese. and i don't have anything against people that are kinda obese, mind you i'm just talking about the SUPER OBESE here. so unless you start stuffing yourself even more once you reach "kinda obese" or you don't move at all, there's no way you can get to morbid obesity. that's why i don't really have sympathy for those that are super super obese. it's like how some people view the homeless, like : "why don't you do something about yourself?" (i don't think of the homeless this way, because i understand the difficulty of the obstacles for one who wants to stop being homeless.) but yeah, call me despicable, but whatevers. i got into this tirade cuz there was one at the concert. ok, next topic.

soco amaretto lime is no longer just a great song by Brand New! southern comfort has been broadcasting a lot of tv ads lately, so it made me want to have some when we were at HOB last nite. for my first 2 drinks i had soco+diet cuz i know that to be something i like. but then i thought about the song. i really wanted to try a soco amaretto lime, but i was afraid that it'd suck. it's SOOO GOOD! i think it's my new favorite drink right now.

last friday was my first followup. it was just to clean half of my mouth. why half? cuz my gums are so sensitive that they needed to shoot me up with 4 shots of anesthetics just to clean the right side of my mouth! i'm usually pretty good with pain, esp with needles from all the piercings, so the shots weren't that bad. it's just that when they shoot you full of fluid, you feel this flow of substance as they're pushing the syringe. i can never get used to that feeling. anyway, the anesthetics made the cleaning a breeze, i could barely feel anything other than when they cleaned my front teeth. after they're done, i thought "yay, that wasn't that bad at all", totally oblivious of the pain to come. about 10 minutes after leaving the dentist's office, the whole right side of my mouth dove into this massive heap of PAIN. at first i thought i was biting my cheek (because i ate right afterwards despite the doc's warnings about the anesthetics), but then i realized that it was the injection sites that were causing me all this pain. by the time i got back to the office, i was in so much pain that i couldn't concentrate. good thing there's advil in the kitchen. worked like a charm.

chris (one of my coworkers) played an awesome show on saturday! didn't know he had musical talent like that, so i'm pretty damn impressed. but i won't go into it much here since he's heard from me and everyone else how good he was.

he starting line played on sunday. i love their songs. i can't get over how young kenny looks all the time. but this time, he no longer sported his longish straight hair, and instead had this curly do. it seems like his hair was naturally straight-ish before,... so did he get a perm? anyway, they're awesome as usual. but me and justin were tired and we had work next day so we left early. i got to hear bedroom talk, so i was satisfied. i fuckin love that song. just one of those bands that make me feel young again.

on tuesday, i took justin out on a date. i originally wanted to see "she's the man" just because i miss those feel-good, mildly-funny, high-school movies. so we made plans to go to century city to watch it. but along the way, all justin could do was whine about how i can "never tell anyone that he saw this". so being the nice girlfriend i am, i looked up the other movies playing at the theater around that time and agreed to watch "v for vendetta". i wanted to see that anyway cuz it looked good, but i didn't originally want to see it that night because i was wanting something feel-good. i'm so glad we watched "V"! cuz it had good action, interesting story, and the feel-good ending i wanted. i love movies that make me feel all heroic and shit! but i remember feeling a sort of sadness at the end of the movie. it was like... why can't i be that strong? will i ever be able to be fearless? because people are inhibited by their own fears and are thus limiting their potentials. in the movie, natalie portman had to go through torture before she was able to accept death with wide eyes and unwavering faith. i kind of wish that i can go through a bootcamp or something that will make me feel the same way. cuz the torture she faced wasn't anywhere near as bad when compared to the other really horrific situations depicted in the movie. fear... i know i have it, i can feel it. but, (in this time about 5 minutes has passed where i'm actually really thinking) i don't know what i'm afraid of. can fear just be an entity within itself? like can it exist without conditions or attachments to other ideas? can it be that i just fear fear itself?

i'm listening to sugarcult's "memory" on "punk goes acoustic" and for the first time, the words to this song is really getting to me. this might be because that's kind of my mood right now, i feel like a memory.

this feeling of wanting to hold on, of not wanting to let go, isn't really that bad at all. being a memory means i'm left with meaningful moments in time, an evolved sense of self, and a view of the future-to-come.

i haven't been this depressed in awhile. we didn't realize that timmy was gone until monday night, but he probably was gone sunday afternoon. he probably snuck out after the dogs when cory opened the doggy door to let the dogs out momentarily. cat has done that before, but he's usually just chillin in the backyard waiting to come back in.

so monday night cory went for walks with dogs to look for cat. i posted ads on various internet sites. justin made me fliers and we went on tuesday to make copies. i left work early to check the animal shelter and to put the fliers in petstores and the pet hospital and last night i posted them around the neighborhood. they're on flurescent green paper.

if you know anyone in the UCLA area, please tell them to keep an eye out for timmy (even though he answers to "cat") he's 9-11 lb, about 4 years old, long white hair, red/white eyes.